wanna fanta?
oh yes.

i pretty much have a life ache.
oy vey.

i don't really understand my purpose in life. i don't have any extreme talents, i don't really do anything spectacular. i'm just trying to understand why i'm here...*discovering myself*

yeah.
"ashlyn doesn't like anybody... she doesn't even like herself." -my mom
true... minus the former. how can i allow to accept someone in my life when I don't even care about my life?

yeeeeeeeesh.

so.

backstabbing liar friends have i.

i would have never thought that anyone like her would have done what she has.

burned that bridge bitch.

EMOENTRYEMOENTRY

it's not you, it's me.
not it's you, me it is.
it's me.
it's not.
it's not me, it's you.

Today was nice.

Nice nice nice nice nice.

Blah I'm sick of being nice all the time (hah well...sometimes). I just wish that I could be straight forward more often without coming off as a total beeyotch. I think it's funny though that around here, the more loud and obnoxious you are, the more attention and popularity.

Anyway...
I'm eating some homemade pound cake right now. There is nothing like a grandmother's home cooking. Or a mom's grilled cheese............hahahaha Jamie.

I'm trying so hard not to be as judgemental... I really am. And it's terrible... especially since I work at Billy's and I see sometimes hundreds of people a day. I have my first impressions of y'all in my head... 98% of them that involve my close friends are good though (Dana...."I FOUND MY SOUL MATE!"). I don't really remember having one of Devon... we just... became friends. And I don't know why, I was so loud and crazy and she was really quiet and kind of a goody-two-shoes. I guess we balance each other out.

Okay I feel like I weigh about 500 lbs.

You know...
I look up to you guys a lot.
A lot.

All of you guys are so confident.
I wish I was. I really am uptight and act like an old lady (not good old lady....not Sophia...think...Aunt Mabel type of old woman). Yes I am crazy and loud but... I am a very insecure person and it's you guys who make me happier and crazier.

Just thought I'd let you know.
<33 ashlyn.